Disclaimer: The views expressed here and so forth within this blog are made in my personal capacity. This information is for education and experience sharing only and should not be construed as personal medical advice. It is also not a substitute for individual medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always talk with your healthcare provider with any questions you have regarding your health.
This was the cycle I tried to let go. I knew we were unlikely to conceive this cycle since I was going to have two procedures completed and figured that would put enough stress on my body. I thought to myself that this cycle was unlikely anything to look forward to besides seeing it as a stepping stone in the right direction to figure out answers. I have never had a surgery or a procedure even as simple as this, so me signing up for a surgery knowing that outwardly I was healthy seemed so unnatural to me. Since it was recommended, I was willing to try anything that could help give answers and give us our second earthside child.
CYCLE DAY 1:
I called the fertility specialist office to let them know my cycle started. They scheduled me for a hysteroscopy D&C on Cycle Day 4. They had hoped to be able to do the HSG (hysterosalpingogram) at the same time as this procedure while I was under, but at this time there was a dye shortage and they were not allowing dyes at out patient clinics so I had to schedule a separate appointment at the hospital for the HSG instead of getting it all done at the same time.
CYCLE DAY 4: HYSTERSCOPY D&C
As if my nerves couldn’t handle it enough, the surgery schedule was running late and I waited in the waiting room for 3 hours. When I finally made it back there to OR prep, I was given the choice of being put under general anesthesia or heavy sedation. I chose the sedation. The procedure is completed through the cervix, there is not incision required.
Besides me being nervous and anxious. It all went very smoothly and the procedure lasted 10 minutes. They said everything looked good, healthy, and normal. There was no scar tissue. No polyps. And he cleaned it all out otherwise. I am not sure what I was hoping for. Part of me wanted an answer for our struggles, like, “Oh, it was scar tissue all along that is now cleaned up and you are good to go!”, but of course I did want to have a healthy outcome with my own body. Overall, this was a great report!
My recovery was fine. Very minimal bleeding after for a few days. Some cramping. That’s it for me!
CYCLE DAY 10: HSG
I went to the hospital to get this procedure complete. I had asked some friends who had been through this for what to expect. For me, it was completed in radiology department. I was awake the whole time. The radiologist had trouble with speculum placement and had to rearrange several times and had difficulty pushing the catheter past my cervix. Both mishaps were not painful but rather just uncomfortable. I laid flat on my back on the x-ray table during the procedure and was able to watch the x-ray screen to see the dye flow through my uterus and overflow through my tubes. The radiologist held the catheter in place and the radiologist tech pushed dye fluid/added fluid as needed. She had to push pretty hard for a bit and I felt like I was going to pass out and started seeing spots. One of my tubes flowed before the other one then the other one did; she said the delay of flow didn’t necessarily mean anything. Ultimately, I left with good news. My tubes are open and flowing.
At this point in the exploratory aspect. We were left with no answers for the cause of our unexplained secondary infertility. However, we did have answers regarding the fact my tubes are open and that my uterus looks good and healthy. All in all, we have two interventional options left: 1) laparoscopy to check for endometriosis and clean it out if it is there, which I know silent endometriosis is a thing, but I was nervous to subject myself to a more invasive surgery when I was completely asymptomatic and everything had been checking out normal for me thus far, and 2) IVF, which as I continued to consider this option despite our lack of mental, physical, and financial readiness for it, I didn’t like the idea of agreeing to it without a reason or a cause for our infertility.
POST-OVULATION:
I continued testing ovulation this month with OPK at home (I use easy @ home with the pre-mom app and if I get what I think is a peak I’ll use Clear Blue Digital to confirm — just so I’m not blowing through expensive ClearBlue), and I did get a peak ovulation this month. I started my usual pregnancy testing with the easy @ home dip strips and use these cups as I usually do leading up to anticipated cycle….. and what was there was not expected in the least. I saw a very faint positive line on 12DPO (days post ovulation). I then used a red dye First Response to confirm. I got pretty excited but guarded all the same. It was hardly there but there enough that Steve could even see it. I called the doctor to get in for a blood draw to confirm.
13DPO the line was a bit darker but the digital test was still negative. With this I knew the threshold for a positive test on my dip sticks was at least 5 HCG but since the digital wasn’t registering, I knew it was less than 25 HCG. The fact that it was darker did make my heart skip a beat… could this be it? I kept myself in check knowing that my HCG was likely not super high. The blood draw results 12DPO came in: HCG = 8, Progesterone = 16.5.
I WAS PREGNANT …. barely, but I was!
The nurse had called to give the results and even though my progesterone looked good, they wanted me to supplement with progesterone to help support it. I told her I was worried about the HCG being so low; she thinks I just caught it early. She said we are looking for 16 or higher on the next draw. Basically, looking for that HCG number to double.
15 DPO I got my second beta blood draw and the number had decreased below 5….17DPO we officially had our second loss. Technically this would be considered a “chemical loss” since most people would not have caught this without early testing like I did.
Honestly, when I saw the two lines indicating positive pregnancy, I kept my hopes and expectations low. When the loss came and went again, I was already deflated, so how could I be any more deflated? It was a protection mechanism I suppose to save myself from more agony. I always speculate and think what did I do to cause this loss (or ongoing infertility). And while I will never know the answer, I have sort of rationalized that there is a chance that my endometrial lining was not thick enough after the procedure to support a pregnancy. I was not told to abstain this month so I suppose we’ll never really know. We had been trying for so long it felt like. And for us, though we had losses, our miscarriages were nearly a year apart. It was tough for us to get pregnant. Now it also seemed tough to stay pregnant. I wanted more answers.
KEY WORDS: secondary infertility, IUI, fertility specialist, reproductive gynocologist, trigger shot, ovidrel, intrauterine insemination, unexplained secondary infertility, HSG, hysteroscopy, D&C, infertility, progesterone, clomid, letrozole, follicular scan, follicles, pregnancy test, chemical loss, chemical miscarriage, miscarriage
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